Adieu

A wild flower with berries that I picked
in the French campsite in 2006. 

Apart from the fact that life has been quite swell, nothing much going on at work, enjoying my weekends with people I love and care and be contented from the heart; I had just received the most devastating news that a very special someone in my life had passed away in May and it is just on Monday that I have heard about it. I once had imagined getting her a ticket to my wedding one day, and all of this, is too late.

Looking at my plate of couscous during lunch today, I remember the first bite of couscous that I had while I was in France. It was served in a Moroccan restaurant where more than six bottles of wine were consumed during a three-plus-hour lunch at the small town of Montalivet in southern France. She was the one who introduced me to a table of French, Moroccans, South Africans during the meal and it was her that made a part of who I am today.

She was the strongest women that I had ever met in my entire life and she gave me the once of a lifetime chance to spend two weeks with her in France. It was my twentieth summer, after working on a summer job for about a month and earning my fare, I departed for France just two weeks before my college applications were announced. And you know what, it was the best graduation present I have ever got.

Two weeks might be just a blink of the eye, but I will never forget each and every encounter that I had there. During the two weeks living in a tent among the country side near the Bordeaux chateaus and the southern French coastline, I learnt what courage was, how to be adventurous, how to be true to one’s heart and most important of all – carp diem.

Every morning we would wake up at around 5am to get ourselves prepared for the morning marketing, we frequently find ourselves waking up to the cold and misty dawn. A fresh cup of espresso brewed from a small gasoline stove and bread, butter and jam is taken out from the small fridge in our caravan, One of us would brew the hot and comforting coffee while the other takes out the bread. Within minutes, breakfast will be finished and we are set off to the village’s summer market. Arriving at the market, we would park at our usual space and set the stall. Then, we would stroll around the market saying hello to everyone we know. Sometimes we would get some herbal tea, or check out the market to see what we can get for lunch or just a snack. May it be a plate of fresh French oysters; a simple baguette or canneles, it was always something delicious and fulfilling that gave an additional splash of glitter to each summer day.

After the market closes at noon, we would spend our time enjoying ourselves. It would be a trip to the beach, lying in the hammock reading or taking a nap, driving to the chateaus for a slip of wine or to see the wreckages of the World War, each day I saw and felt something new.

Like most French women, she was practical, beautiful, independent, strong-minded and knows what she is doing. Above all, she was loved by those who knew her and stood up for those who she cared and needs helps. Around my mother’s age, she was the one that brought me to my first disco adventure, gave me my first joint, introduced me to French wines and gourmet, gave me the courage to travel by myself (like I practically biked for 20km on my own by the French country side without a light, helmet, nor a compass and was able to find her before the night creeps in) and gave me my first mini-plane ride which spiralled over the French coastline. She taught me not to be stingy with my hugs and kisses, that trying something new is just a process of life and there is no need to be afraid of anything as long as you know what you are doing. Be honest to yourself and other people is difficult, and it is something that not many people can accept, but it is what that makes you different from the commercial society.

Memories seems to be so close and it’s hard to believe that it was eight years ago. Flipping through my incomplete journals entries and looking at the old pictures of the trip, I cannot suppress my tears or the sadness in my heart.  I will continue to have the best of her deep down in my heart. May she rest in peace.


 Adieu my friend.

廿七歲定律

「霎眼廿七歲
    時日無多方不敢偷懶
    宏願縱未了奮鬥總不太晚」

早前網上瘋傳其實早已在2012年在內地開po的「有多少女人輸給了27歲」的文章，從而觸發了不少八十後女士的神經和慨嘆。在這一個生日，我正式的迎接我的28歲，但並沒有文中所說的悲哀，也沒有一點害怕我會在27歲之後倒退，反而現在才是真的開始人生。

27歲並不可怕。沒錯，生理上是有一點影響，覺得自己沒有少年時的體力、皮膚鬆了點、通宵一晚要幾天才能復完等。有人會告訴你25歲之後會開始老化，要用什麼、用注意什麼、用做什麼，大部份都只是消費主義的話。如果你真的愛惜自己的身體、熱愛生活，那你一早已經注意自己的身體和健康，並不是當你突然到一個年齡才發現要做一點東西吧。

人生就如紅酒人樣，必須要經過歲月的發酵才能令它完滿、充滿味道。跟上一代不同，現今的年輕人大約22、23歲才大學畢業，如果說女人的一生在27之後就開始倒退，那麼現今女性只有四、五年時候去享受人生、去做自己想做的事情、拓展事業和找一個男人一起建立家庭。 本人畢業了快五年，這五年的光景裡，我投身社會，我體會到大都會的繁華盛世、享受美酒佳餚、人情冷暖、社會變遷、人生百態，我培養了我的興趣、學會了學校以外的知識和建立社交圈子、個人專長和技能。五年裡，我吸收了很多，但所有東西都只是皮毛、對很多事情都只是一知半解，還未夠專業、入世未算深。這一個時候，正就是將自己變得更美好、更成熟、更自信之時。因為現在我開始了解這世界是怎樣運作，我了解自己的性情、喜惡，我明白到自己的權利與責任，我有能力去享受生活。我對這一個世界仍然很好奇、對理想還有期望、對生活仍然熱情、對未來還有抱負。27歲，並不是太差吧?

心境仍像小孩才是王道吧~

也許27是一個適婚年齡，但結了、不結又如何，如何定輸贏? 像男人一樣，現代女性其實對自己的未來、事業、愛情都很有憧憬。如果一些年過27的女性認為自己「輸」了，她們不是輸給了年齡、也不是輸給了男人，而是輸給了自卑、輸給了世俗的眼光。女校出身的我身邊不乏年過27的女性，結了婚、未婚、單身，她們都一樣的發光發亮。

27歲，可以一個看電影而哭、可以因為他人的一份心思而樂透一天；可以素顏走在大街上，也可突然變得雍容華貴；可以去冒險，也可以宅在家中；懂得甚麼是咖啡和美酒、也懂得甚麼是色與情。27歲正是，不論男女，可以去嘗試、可以去做自己喜歡做的事的時候，沒有太重的責任，但可以獨立。

27歲不是步向衰老，而是另一個旅程的開始。
感謝所有與我一起同行的人。

我的27歲過了，又如何?

送給明天的自己~ 

時間的歌

綺貞老師回來了。
繼《華麗的冒險》和《太陽》之後，蟄伏了四年，她終於帶給我們《時間之歌》為「花的三部曲」來一個終結。經歷了近十年的光景，花，綻放了。

 《時間的歌》專輯的tagline 是：

「在人際關係中、
　在自己的心裡、
　在超商貨架上，
　你驚心動魄的人生是否正在流浪？
　獻給在絕望與希望中流浪的你。」 

　　經歷了成長所帶來的失望、創傷和迷失、追著在內心深處的夢、對愛情的執着、勇敢的面對着孤獨；《時間的歌》帶我們去看外面的世界，同時也為我們的心找一個安全的歸宿。

我喜歡陳綺貞老師的簡單。
外柔內剛的她總可以唱出溫柔、鼓舞、令人感動的旋律。每一次聽都能洗滌心靈。

　　一支結他、一把清澈的嗓子、簡單的旋律包含著歌詞的大意義。每一次不順心、緊張、害怕的時候，聽到她的聲音，總會為我帶來安慰，讓我放鬆心情。彷彿，有人好像明白我、有人在鼓勵我。如果五月天的音樂是火柴，燃點我們心裡的火；陳綺貞的歌就如膠布，為我們治理好心裡的傷之後，帶著疤痕去成為更強的人再繼續追求心裡的夢。也許那一個夢是不切實際、也許會更加傷痕累累，但試了就無悔。人就應對自己有所交代、對生活也應有點堅持。

中學開始就已經聽綺貞老師的歌。
《小步舞曲》為我開啟了藍色大門，讓我知道青春可以有多單純。
《吉他手》伴着我去追星，可是《After 17》又會叫我嘗試去長大。
《Self》、《就算全世界與我為敵》在我畢業那一年叫我相信自己、忠於自己，不甘示弱。 《旅行的意義》讓我有勇氣一個人去遊歷，一個人在飛機上哭也不怕。
《太多》教我要享受一個人孤獨的時刻。
《魚》常常提醒我，在生活中，每個人在某個程度上都覺得己在一個選擇的懸崖 ，有時身不由已、很痛苦，但你不是一個人。 

　　小時候總幻想自己可以像吉賽人般去流浪。現在，長大了才發原來自己早已成了吉賽人。我們都是活在都市之中的吉賽人，不停地走，去找我們所愛的、屬於我們的某個地方。現在，《流浪者之歌》就鼓勵我們撐下去。

　　十五年，終於看到綺貞老師的現場演唱。這是一場真真正正的音樂，因為當中包含了很多不同的風格、特色，也表現了音樂的變化和不同樂器的共鳴。除此之外，當然是她的歌曲所帶出來的啟示、情感。雖然坐不近，但是心深深感動了，眼淚也不禁流下了。同時，我也不禁在想：究竟自己在做什麼？真的很矛盾，我想我不應該活在這個年代，我太愛作夢了，也不喜歡玩現實的格鬥。是我一直裝樂觀的嗎？儘管如此，我是會繼續往前走的。 

夢，是要追的。

 「想到這裡
　　怎麼我又哭了呢....」

Locofama

New Year for both the Western and Chinese calendar has ended and it’s time to payback some writing “debts” of the gastronomic experiences which I have acquired during the festive season. Well, actually, during Christmas to be more precise.

Amongst the busy schedules of shopping, sleeping and just getting some time off from work, I was able to get to meet up with some of my friends and colleagues, even if it meant sleeping a few hours less, for brunch.

The first one was Locofama which was hidden in an alley, Fuk Sau Lane, in Sai Wan. It was just past 1pm on Christmas Day and we originally planned to go to Soho and crash into any place that is opened for brunch (tea or whatever). But when we got there, a lot of restaurants told us that their last order was 2pm or they close around that time. So we gave up Soho and my friend suggested going to Sai Wan and seeing if we have any luck with Locofama.

Locofama, an organic diner which was opened in August 2013, was actually infamous for its poor quality of service, despite its wonderful reputation of serving wholesome and delicious organic food. It was around 2pm when we got there with just around 10 customers seated in the 30-seat diner. With rustic furnishings, an open kitchen and a sister organic mart next door, it was perfect for the sunny Christmas Day with its windows wide opened.

 Miracle Berry

My friend heard that Locofama was famous of its organic ingredients and coconut water, so we started our orders with  Miracle Berry (goji berries, red dates and coconut water) for me and an organic soymilk for her. As a coconut fan myself, I quite enjoy my drink. It was a refreshing combination and the coconut meat inside the drink was wonderful to nibble. Additionally, as a firm believer of the benefits of food from the Oriental perspective, the goji berries are perfect for the wiry eyes from hours of looking at electronic devices while the red dates can improve blood circulation, especially ladies with cold hands and feet like me. Meanwhile, for my friend's organic soymilk, it was just ordinary, glad we didn't have much expectations. Since we were pretty stuffed up from the Christmas feasts, we ordered something light to share.

Crab and truffle puff pastry

Oolong tea soba

First it was the Oolong tea soba with black sesame cream, wild mushrooms and basil ($88). The texture of the soba was quite alright, in which many places makes its too soggy nowadays. Sesame flavor filled the palate like any other sesame dressing, but I cannot taste any Oolong in it. Luckily, the mushrooms were very fresh and gave out its own unique aroma, or else it would become another salad-like-soba you get from a Western/fusion/Japanese deli.

Next in line was the puff pastry with crab vol-au-vent (black truffle cream and Atlantic crab; $108). The fillings were wonderful with the delightful truffle and crab flavours but unfortunately, the pastry was quite hard to chew. You can’t really the bite pastry into half  without forgoing your table manners. Additionally, the fillings were too watery. Some of the sauce would drip now the pastry when you bite it, probably they didn’t drain the fillings enough.   

Salmon poached egg

By the time now, my friend was stuffed; while I was very tempted to try its truffle salmon poached egg (Norwegian chilled smoked salmon, crouton, basil olive oil ; $28). And I am so glad I did! It was the best dish! The truffle scent was wondrous while the saltiness of the salmon gave a perfect balance to the perfectly poached egg. Dipping the egg with a toast was definitely a wonderful experience. In terms of its appearance, scent and flavours, its is surely my pick from Locofama.

The rumors about the service of Locofama, I think it can be true. My experience was on a public holiday in which it was half empty, and we still have trouble getting the attention from the staff. The intervals between our dishes was quite normal. Wonder what it would be like it when it has a full-house situation. Or perhaps it would be the best decision to avoid it completely. 
To wrap it all up, Locofama's food is just what I have in mind for an organic restaurant - flavours come from the quality of ingredient that it uses; and that did add a lot of points to their dishes. But from the good reviews it has gotten from the articles I've read on the internet, I thought it would be better. Maybe perhaps it is because most of them were written when the diner first opened up or during normal working days or something. And I must say, the quality of service wasn't that bad, at least the servers were quite friendly and helpful when I do get their attention. Last, but not least, I do appreciate the positive message they try to give to diners and publicizing the benefits of eating healthily and going organic.

Food: 3/5
Value: 3.5/5
Environment: 4/5
Service: 3/5

Locofama
Address: 11 Fuk Sau Lane, 852 Sai Ying Pun, Hong Kong 
Tel: 2547 7668

Next up, Sunday roast at St Betty……

狂歡

是日立春，一年的第一個氣節，即一年之始。
人越大，時間真的過得越快。農曆新年也過了，2014年也過了兩個月，生活也好像從沒有停下來的感覺。也許是因為每天也有很多的事情發生、有很多的事情要做，生活被塞得沒滿滿的。 

2014年的一月被喜事包圍了，繼上年九月之後，又有一位好姊妹出嫁了，而且還是橫跨兩地、三個地方的世紀婚禮（應該是我一生人之中，最大型的婚禮，過去及未來的都包括在內），賓客合共約超過二千人吧。因為這場婚禮，我有機會去澳門及廈門兩地，也當作了一個小型的假期，讓我可以離開一下香港。在廈門過了三天，雖然大部份時間都只是留在酒店裡，沒有去什麼地方遊覽，但是有機會好好的睡覺、好好的獨處也是一種享受。

就如阿桑的歌曲《葉子》的歌詞中所道：『孤單，是一個人的狂歡；狂歡，是一群人的孤單。』因為宴會之中有很多很多的人，而休息的時候，只有一個人在房間裡，當中的冷清形成了很強烈的對比，才忽然記起，原來自己很久也沒有人一個人過了，也突然之間得到了一種自由的釋懷。家裡差不多二十四小時都有人，有時候還有種被監視的感覺；辦公室裡，出出入入都是人；一個人在街上走，繁華的街道上有無數的自由行令人心煩；冷清的地方，日間沒有時間去、晚上不敢去。 

在香港，根本沒有獨處的空間，同時令人感到孤獨非常。感覺就如一個啞巴一樣，有很多的指控卻沒有辦法說出一句，令人無奈、無助。我能夠有自己的房間其實已經比很多人很不錯，但是那無形的壓力真的令人吃不消。很懷念一個人的星期天，無憂無慮地聽著陳綺貞的歌在沙發上看書看到睡著的下午。我前世可能是一隻小鳥、吉普塞人、遊牧民族或什麼的，不喜歡被困、不想被人包圍至窒息。在廈門，只有短短的兩日半，卻可以做自己。對著鏡子唱歌、不修邊幅的躺著，動也不動的睡死、泡泡泡浴，找回了失去了很久的自由。另一方面，我有時間去反思，發現自己距離自己的夢想好像越來越遠了，要給自己多一點決心、少一點藉口，好好的努力。更加要享受當下，不論好、壞的經歷都是為了讓生活更加豐盛。 

寫著寫著，也快一千字了，原本這一篇文章是想寫一點對新一年的寄望，誰不知慰藉了連自己都不自覺的悲傷。 願馬年會帶來一番新的氣像，下次（希望是不久的將來）再寫我原本想寫的東西吧。

 祝君安好、身體健康、萬事勝意。

P.S.: 在youTube找阿桑的《葉子》來細味的時候才發現原來阿桑已經在2009年離世，享年34歲。真的很可惜，她的聲音帶一點點的滄桑，真的很特別。現送上我最愛的MV之中。希望大家會喜歡吧。

2013

The few days between the Christmas and the New Year holidays are usually the period when most people feel a bit confused. First of all, unless you are taking a long holiday break, going to work one day and then off the next day and then going back to the office two days after, obviously makes you confused of the dates and which day of the week it is. Second, among all the booze, parties, recovery sleep and the cold wintery weather, sometimes you don’t know what you are doing, where you are and what time of the day it is. Third, and the most important of all, you get frustrated because you start to reflect on what you did during the past year, and how little you have achieved when there are so much stuff which you can accomplish if you haven’t got addicted to a certain TV series, game or whatever that gives you short-lived and instant pleasure.

 Well, for me it has been more absurd, as I was on shift at the work the majority of December and before I knew it, it was just a day before Christmas Eve, aka my dad’s birthday, and I just have one day to do all my Christmas errands, which does not include getting myself freshened up for the festive season. The lost and hurried December is simply an epitome of what was going on with me during the past year. If 2012 was year of changes with new challenges, 2013 is a year where the changes are settling in to give you panic attacks, obstacles and uncertainties of yourself; and that is that exact moment when you also start to laid foundations to whatever you are trying to build up.

 Being a person of words, sometimes I find myself speechless when I face the various incidents of events, especially dealing with difficult people that don’t understand you or have an ego ten times of themselves. Actions are yet stronger than words, as I mentioned in last year’s article, I didn’t have any clear resolutions for 2013, but I do have some goals in mind that I want to achieve. After 365 days, there are both success and failures; and luckily, little regrets. As the days pass by, I find the voice in my heart stronger and stronger and know that I do have the potentials do what I like and good at.

Life might not always turn out what you want to be, and there is always oppositions since no one on earth would have the exactly same thought as you. That just leads to one move – listen to your inner voice. There are no right or wrong in decisions, there are just those that make you happy or regret.

 2013 is a year in which I am blessed with those who truly care about me. Those who surrounds me with love to keep me going; to listen to me weep when I can’t control myself or the situations I am facing; and to bare with my horrific jokes or insane random ideas. Without these special people, I’m utterly lost; yet, they always know how to found me.

More on 2014 later. Hope you all will have a prosperous year ahead.